The roots
the basis of the tree
The roots are the basis of the tree. They feed the tree and give it stability. As my ideas are the base of the choices I make, feed and stabilize the choices I will make.
You can read here about the Netherlands, and that serves as the seed of the choice.
May 30, 2016. Next to my mum, in her little car, we were racing to be in time for my train, very early in the morning. The train would take me from Amsterdam to Bratislava in 21 hours. The excitement of starting my first travel on my own had made my stomach turn around and it felt like all the cells in my body were jumping up and down. Maybe a part of me knew this excitement was not for nothing, because I would never sleep in my own bed again. For 8 weeks, I traveled in Eastern-Europe, crossing mainly hostels and cities and enjoying the countryside once in a while in Slovakia, Hungary, Serbia, Romania, Croatia and Slovenia.
When I got back from traveling my relationship of 6 years ended and I was entering a very intense period. Proceeding the job, I had, living with my dad after living 3 years on my own and 3 years with my ex-boyfriend. It felt like the world was upside down. Every time when I asked myself the question 'if I could choose anything, anything I want in the world, what would it be?' The answer would always be the same 'to leave this fast city life, with all its plastic (also seen as a metaphor), to leave this job where I sit on a chair most of the time doing stuff that has nothing to do with my principles or vision of life.'
So that's what I did. In the end of October, I announced that I wanted to quit the job and I would be working until the end of January.
Maybe you’re thinking, 'she probably had a shitty job in a factory or something'. I didn't! I had a good job: a manager of a small museum in Den Bosch, working 30 hours a week. I earned a minimum wage a month, but I was respected and people valued me. The fact that I had this job as a 25-year-old, with only a Bachelor degree History of Arts, made people think I was crazy to leave my job. I was starting a real career and I was thinking of leaving it to work in the mud on a farm.
After I travelled for 2 months, having a hard time to focus and concentrate myself on my work when my world was upside down, I realized a couple of things.
- I never took the time to understand what I wanted to do in my life, without anything pushing me. I went to school, high school, collage, university and immediately after that started my job in the museum. But was this what I really wanted? Did I want to have a career and be a part of the system? Buying a house a few years later and being 'stuck' in a place.
- although I enjoyed my job in the museum a lot the first year, learning a lot of new things, having a lot of responsibility, I suddenly saw myself sitting at a chair all day, answering emails and making documents with no room for my creativity.
I knew I wasn't feeling at home in Netherland, at my job. I knew I wanted to explore the world and myself. And after someone told me: 'it's better to feel sorry for the things you did, than for the things you didn't do', I made the choice to quit my job and leave, into the unknown.
The proces of leaving
The dream
Once upon a time there was a house, far away from the life where cars, supermarkets and advertisement ruled the day. Far away from a world where people live so close to each other they are annoyed by everything what the neighbor does; a stranger even after 10 years. Far away from a world where privacy is the 20 passwords that are needed, and where you cannot escape artificial life.
The house was standing in a green and fertile land, where the songs of nature could be heard always. Changing with the sun, the moon and the colours. The people that lived in the house enjoyed natures amazement and the green that surrounded them. If they chose to wake up early, they could see the diamonds on the grass that celebrate the mornings. In the day they could see the beautiful colours of the beetles and the magical white gloom of the moon that celebrates the night. They enjoyed the singing of the birds and the crickets. They were happy to take deep breaths and smell the way nature announces its ongoing transformation, the flowers, the fresh rain and the burned wood that warmed their house and cooked their food. Everyday different tastes filled their mouths, because nature will never provide identically the same. It where the tastes of passion, that came from growing and preparing the food with respect. They understood the value of the food they ate, because only once a year nature gave them abundance. And they had time, space and freedom to feel the warm dark fertile earth after a sunny day, the patterns of wood they worked with and the softness of the furry plants. And if they wanted they worked, in the garden, on the house, on projects that develop instantly. And always when they worked they enjoyed the senses that nature gave them, to live and enjoy life.
Just sometimes they would leave their house and meet the big fuzz. And they would even more appreciate what they had just left before. Because they would understand that in the city everything works against their senses. That people were fed plastic, stress and manipulation.
I believe that a place doesn't make you escape your problems, that utopia does not exist. But I do believe and dream of a place where we can live closer to nature, to our 'mother' and that what has made us and heals us.
My dream is to live closer to nature, away from the city and its plastic and artificial lifestyle. I dream of living in the countryside, growing my own food, having some animals.
'You have to give up a lot' is what people have been telling me. 'Can you stand the cold? The basic lifestyle, getting your hands dirty?'
How to chase a dream without knowing what a life like this truly is? So that's what I want to find out traveling!